8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
