So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
