I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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