I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
