I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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