i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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