He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
