ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
