i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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