Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
