We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have aggressive nipples.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
