need another drink. this is the easiest way
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
