that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
