Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize