So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Randomize
