if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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