My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
