hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
