I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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