Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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