OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
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