Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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