I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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