So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
