i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
