people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
