I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
