Nicole vs. Life
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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