So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
