Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
