Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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