We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
