So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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