4 words: hood of his car
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
