Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
