Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you told grandpa to call you daddy
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
