I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
