KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
