you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
