Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize