If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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