super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
