It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
