Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
