He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
