my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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