you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Randomize
