Someone shit on the floor
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
