NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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