have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
