wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
