I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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