Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
FUCK WHALES
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
