You're completely useless in the revolution.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
