just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
