He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
