we have pet lesbian snakes
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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